Got Doctors appointment, and ironically felt better by the time I did at last go and see the doctor ! All well now anyway and feel on the road to recovery.

There has been a lot of fuss in the news today about our bonnie Prince Charlie and the love of his life Camilla, and it all just seems like so much fuss. If a man loves a woman, and they want to share their lives, why should anyone else have the right to try and stand in their way ? In the ITN news report it was said that:

"An press report claims that the Queen has 'grudgingly' agreed to allow Prince Charles to marry Camilla Parker Bowles. The article, in the influential Spectator magazine, claims the couple may be allowed to marry after next year's Golden Jubilee celebrations......In June, Charles and Camilla sealed their long-time relationship with their first public kiss. The kiss was heralded by royal watchers as a milestone in the relationship and underlining Charles's determination that Camilla be publicly accepted as his partner."

Click here to read full story

today has been good and bad so far.

Bad:
- Feel worse. Am going to have to stamp my feet for doctors appointment tomorrow. and/or take time off work. ugh.
- been having problems with work too, things not working, things that people could have told me about before I spent ages trying to sort it out and could have been avoided.
- miss John. terribly. I had forgotten the down sides of being in love as well as the good sides. Feeling of longing and wanting to share everything and when you are not with that person it is like a constant distraction.
-had good intentions of getting an early night's sleep, but failed as normal. So wanting to just fall asleep on desk at the moment.
- Been beaten at table football at lunchtime. twice. grrrr. both times was winning and then lost on final "golden goal". must be this damn cold imairing my judgement.

Good
- In work before anyone else in my department, and been working hard this morning, and been reasonably productive, once I had overcome annoying problems, so feel pretty pleased with myself. Also means that I should be able to slope off early and go and ride my horse later.
- Sun is shining, always good. Especially if it is still sunny later on when I go and ride my horse. Need a good gallop on horseback in the sunshine..
- Plans coming together for next couple of weekends social life stuff, catching up with quite a few old friends and should be a few good nights out.

more stuff I am sure, but that will do for now ! have a good day all.

I have been reading Adrian's "Thought of the Moment", and doing some thinking of my own and decided to edit my entry from earlier this evening. Or at least the part about him and what happened between us today. Until today, I have most recently been using this forum as just a form of self expression and comments on many areas of my life, and snippets of news. And then today I got angry and let myself lash out. I have a temper, I admit it and it is not something I am proud of. Adrian was hurting me and making me angry and I wanted to get back at him in some way. Other things are also hurting me and making me angry at the moment which I am not going to go into, but suffice to say I was pretty easily fired up and eager to attack. But then I am being just as childish and pathetic and all the other things I accused him of. Get a grip woman.

been home an hour and a half from work. watched trashy tv. mooched about house and found random items left here by my boyfriend, which made me both smile at thoughts of him and make me miss him. calmed down a lot since last blog. Now trawling through other peoples logs with fascincation ! Check out Imelda's Blogs titled "Way too many Oranges", or this great designed site with blog Jish's site.

damn right it is a shit day. started off by me waking up by me feeling rough (sore throat like you wouldnt believe, headache, earache .. blah blah) not helped by a bad nights sleep. I drag myself into work because I know we are running on important deadlines at the moment and I have a lot to get done. As well as fact that my boss would probably assume I was skiving and staying in bed with my boyfriend for the day if I did take day off sick. As well as fact I would only end up getting bored at home. So I go into work. People at work being unhelpful, causing me to waste time. Try and get a damn doctors appointment to try and discover why my throat feels like it is being attacked by knives only to be told by really snotty receptionist that my doctor only comes in on thursdays (..like I dont know this already..) and (..surprise, surprise...) this thursday is fully booked. If I like I can try and ring at 8.30am on thursday and I might get an appointment if I am really lucky and insist on being seen. Great. So now I have to book being ill 2 weeks in advance do I ? "is it urgent ?" they ask. what the f*** is that supposed to mean. No, I am not dying or I would be calling 999 and not the doctors surgery, yes, given enough time and rest my body would fight it off. But it is making my life miserable in the mean time and drugs would be good. so things dont start well.

Then things get worse. I end up having really really petty fights by e mail with adrian.......

**Have decided to edit out details of this entry. Was angry when I wrote it and having now re-read it, this is not fair. see above. [8/14/2001 10.30 PM | Lexy ]**

.....Right. hopefully that is all out of my system now. I think now the V2001 ticket and the £100 are both dealt with that I have no more ties with adrian, so no further need to contact him. Grrrrr. Humph.

I have recently added a guestbook to accompany this page, so if anyone out there is reading this, and especially if you have any comments to make then please do go and sign my guestbook.

Thanks.

Stupid how life can get blown so out of proportion at times. Friends come and go. Lovers come and go. Life goes on. It really is not the end of the world. Life should be about enjoying your life, looking to the future and not living in the past. We all have our ups and downs, but sometimes you need to just take a reality check on what it is that is really bothering you. I know I make myself do this at times, other times it takes something someone else says for this to happen. Either way, the bigger picture is what really matters in life, not the minor blips. And as soon as you get stuck on a minor blip and suddenly make it into the main focus of everything you loose the bigger picture and what really matters. Exactly what does "really matter" is an individual choice, but think about what does really matter to you and dont loose sight of it.

NB the link on the left to "The Sex Maniacs Ball" is the much spoken about event where the John/Adrian incident all occurred. In case anyone is interested in taking a look and finding out some more. Very well organised event, would definitely recommend it.

Monday Morning. 9.30am. back at work. In knowledge that my boyfriend is still in my bed less than 2 miles away. Life is so unfair at times !